Life Begins at 30

If you can teach your heart to fall in love, can you also teach it to fall out of love?

Somebody asked me this question lately, someone very special.  I never really understood the question, in fact I dismissed it as another cheesy line to win me over.  Of course it didn’t and couldn’t, because even if there is a small part of me wishing to go a few steps back from where I am, I was very sure that it wouldn’t have made me happy… I tried to meet halfway to figure things out, went even a little further just to see if its worth everything we have to give up in the long run, but I figured that I am not prepared to meet halfway forever.  I know I deserve something better, something less complicated, something simple and happy.  True,  I can say “no” simply because it is easier than having to explain, but I can’t deny that very tiny part at the back of my heart, still beating, still wishing things were any different. That’s when I realized that this statement held some truth to me as well.  I have a lot of excess baggage, I know that. I had to figure out a way to let it go.

In a separate note, the statement above opened another truth in my story.  Some people say ignorance is bliss, but it’s also true that we can never keep a 50mm view of things all the time.  There are some things that move and no matter how much we try to ignore them, they just crawl back into view time by time. This is what I learned after a debate with a good friend about the same question above.  It knocked me down real hard this time because the one thing that I had been ignoring for so long is suddenly right infront of me. Do I look straight or just turn my head the other way?  I know I can never go on like this forever, but I also don’t want to entertain the idea because there are things that are better left unsaid.