Life Begins at 30

I could curse you all I want… say all the bad things I could say… I wish I could blame you for screwing up my life, in looking for that one great love like we had. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t hate you because in all these years, nothing ever lived up to what we shared together.  In all honesty, you are the worst paradox I have ever had in my life… I have never felt more blessed and cursed at the same time.  Blessed because you showed me love like no other, and cursed because nothing could even come close to the kind of love I felt when I was around you… and honestly, I am missing it. Every minute. Every airtime. Every single moment.

I wasted all my life, screwed up all my relationships, lost every good friend because you taught me LOVE in a way that’s totally different from every freakin’ experience I had.  But I cannot hate you.  I have no bones made for that feeling.

But I do hope you’ll hear me out when I say this:  FUCK YOU for making me believe life is easy and and another FUCK YOU for loving me that way.

It’s funny how fate actually drew us apart for so long and suddenly played cupid a decade down the line,  as if trying to make amends for the big joke it pulled on us back then.  I wish I could agree with you that the universe is conniving to make way for second chances, but do you really want to taint the pureness and innocence of what we once had?

I could make up all the reasons in the world to fight for you, but I digress. It is enough for me to know that at one point in time, I had you as my one great love.